Things not to say at the little league world series...

So, this is the first installment of my "blog." I feel like I should be doing more productive things in my life than this, but at the same time, I really have nothing else to do. I am a recent college graduate from Penn State University (GO LIONS!), and I am currently unemployed. I don't feel that this is because of my lack of commitment to the books, I just feel that this economic downturn (to put it lightly) has legitimately crippled the nation's employment rate, but then again that's obvious.

So here I am learning to like the area I am living in. That area is Williamsport, Pa. It is not really famous for much. There is not really much to do here. But every August there is one famous event that takes place in this Central Pennsylvania Town. An event so epic that it causes complete pandemonium. This event is fantastic, and features the best young talent in baseball. That of course is the Little League World Series.

Now we all know of Comic-con, and the Porn Convention in Vegas, but I like to think of the LLWS as free admission to the "National Sex Offenders Convention" or the NSOC as I am going to call it. All joking aside, and forgetting the fact that I lost my Blackberry on a bus, I am going to provide a David Letterman Style Top 10 list of things NOT to say or do while attending the Little League World Series (Some of which I actually heard last night).

The number 10 thing NOT to say or do at the LLWS:
I'll give you the candy if you stop screaming and sit on my lap like a good boy.

The number 9 thing NOT to say or do at the LLWS:
You just put the hot dog in your mouth and enjoy it.

The number 8 thing not to say or do at the LLWS:
Get into an argument with one of the Little League Fathers (We all know the type, not a good crowd to mess with, they are right up there with bikers)

The number 7 thing not to say or do at the LLWS:
If your 45 years old, introduce yourself to a member of a team and tell them to Facebook you

The number 6 thing not to say or do at the LLWS
Cheer as if a player is your son or you know them personally when they are not even from the same country

The number 5 thing not to say or do at the LLWS:
Lie about your age

The number 4 thing not to say or do at the LLWS:
Tell a child you have a bigger bat they can use

The number 3 thing not to say or do at the LLWS
Stand in the middle of the crowd with your hand down your pants trying to get your underwear to stop riding up

The number 2 thing not to say or do at the LLWS:
Round 2nd base with a player

And the number 1 thing not to say or do at the LLWS:
"Okay, okay, I promise I'll stop tickling you now!"

Okay, so yeah some of them lack the luster of a David Letterman Top 10, but still these are not things you should do at the LLWS even if they aren't funny to you. I realize some of them are extremely inappropriate, but that's why you SHOULDN'T do them. I'm sure I'll take some grief for posting this list, and I have to say I don't blame you. It's just weird when you go to this event, (and it really is a great event, I would strongly recommend going there to support these young kids, they really are great athletes at their age and put on a great show of baseball skills), and you overhear weird things thinking that this is like the mecca for petaphelia. I don't know though, that's just me I overthink things way too much. I have lived here for quite some time and I have never been to the LLWS, and after going last night I really do regret it. It is a great thing to see people from all over the world in one place to support the future of athletics, and it is overwhelming to know that such a huge event is right in my backyard basically. So like I said, if you ever get the chance to attend, you should go. It is phenomenal to see great quality baseball, and all different styles from different cultures, come together to claim the crown of world champions of little league.

Thank you for reading, I'll try to blog a lot since I have no life! Hopefully you got a good chuckle, and will consider at least watching the Little League World Series on TV!!